Writers are so cool. You should become a writer.
So write something already.
You got this.
After a lot of in-between stuff (mostly drinking and browsing the Internet), you finally finish a manuscript.
You start querying, but publishers are all like:
So you go through the five stages of rejection: Rage, indignation, indifference, alcohol, and finally:
After you’ve recovered (if you ever recover) you decide to start pursuing other options. Self-publishing is so easy! And free! Who needs professionals? Not you.
You’re at a crossroads. Publish RIGHT NOW, or do things right?
You decide to do some research. Good for you.
Maybe you shouldn’t do it all yourself. After all, your novel deserves the best. You hire some professionals to help you along the way.
You’re doing it. You’re really doing it. YOU’RE PUBLISHING A BOOK.
Meanwhile, your editor sees your manuscript for the first time.
So you revise.
Your cover designer gets all artsy-fartsy-awesome.
Turns out those professionals were a good idea. After a lot of behind-the-scenes work, your book is everything you dreamed it would be.
Now it’s time to make some money!
Crap. Marketing is hard.
Reviewers can be brutal.
But nobody can keep you down for long. This book is going to work.
You FINALLY sell some books. Looks like that hard work is paying off. You’re so awesome.
Now start over.